Being Content
Today I’m taking a break from posting activities to share what’s on my heart. I know I don’t know many of you personally. My desire with this blog is to share with you ideas for your little ones, but I also want to share my heart and I want for you to get to know me better. So today, I’m starting to do that.
Recently, I found myself stuck in the comparison trap. I was comparing my kids with other kids. Let me explain. We were at an event and I found myself comparing my boys to other kids. I was wishing they would have calm personalities. My boys are active and they have a lot of energy. They weren’t being rude or disrespectful, but I found myself wishing that their personalities would be more on the quiet and calm side and not so full of energy! When I stepped back and thought about it, I felt guilty for having those thoughts. I shouldn’t compare my children to other children! My boys are full of life and love. God has placed these two boys in our family because he knows we are the best parents for them. That’s a humbling thought.
Kids are all different and we can’t compare with others! We need to be content. It got me thinking…there are so many ways we as moms compare ourselves with other moms or their children. From pregnancy to school days (and beyond), we are constantly comparing.
My youngest was a colicky baby. It was very hard that first year. Never had I heard a baby cry so much and we couldn’t do hardly anything about it. It was frustrating, and I caught myself thinking, “I wish I had a calm baby like _________”. “It would be so nice if my baby would just snuggle and fall asleep on my chest instead of crying all the time!” (Little did I know he would be a huge cuddler now!)
Why do we do that? Why do we wish for something we don’t have when we should be so content in the blessings we do have? We always want something else, especially when life gets tough. I see comparison as an ongoing battle when we don’t choose contentment and joy.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14
God has created each and every one of us to be the unique person that we are. When I think about my children, I am in awe in the way God created such beautiful little human beings.
Troy is our strong-willed, yet tender-hearted boy.
Wes is my wild, yet sensitive boy.
They are unique, but that’s what I love about them.
As I was thinking about this, I thought of other comparison moms make.
*Why is it so hard for me to breastfeed when it is so easy for my friend?
*Why do I have more challenging children than my friends?
*How come it is so difficult for us to get pregnant while others get pregnant by accident?
*Why do I have such active children?
*Why can’t my child learn to read like her peers?
You get the point. Comparison is all around us. When we get stuck in this “victim” mode, it is hard for us to find joy.
“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11b
I don’t want you to think that I’m a perfect mom and that I do everything right. I am far from perfect. I make mistakes. I’m not the perfect wife or mother…nobody is! I am a sinner, saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for that.
This is what I want you to hear today: YOU are the best mother for your children. Don’t compare, but love YOUR life the way it is. Count your blessings today!
Girl…
You almost made me cry, but you REEEALLY have me thinking now… and the last sentence “YOU are the best mother for your children…”
Oh that’s what I needed, I struggle often with being a mother, it’s not a walk in the park “like so and so’s life seems to be” you are SO right! Thank you ma’am for this wonderful insight and very strong yet soft, kind and gentle words. Just what this momma needed! 🙂
Angela – reading back through some of your posts – extra computer time has not been as easy to come by lately. I wanted to thank you for sharing your heart on your struggles with contentment. It is funny how God can use our personal situations to draw out some of these areas. I always felt pretty confident that I did not fall into the comparison trap until the first couple of years of homeschooling. It was not that I was comparing my children to others, but I found myself actually comparing myself as a teacher to those around me that were also homeschooling. I found myself adding a lot to our daily school schedule that really were not necessary. I do plan out my year ahead of time, but found myself wanting to just add one more thing…to my detriment, as I would get anxious when we started not completing what we initially set out to do. I love seeing what others are doing in their school time and in their homes, but now understand enough to know I have to guard myself from comparing and desiring to “just add one more thing.” I have a file I have created now that I just place items into that look intriguing so when I go to plan out my next year I can just sift through and see if it still looks as good as it did when I originally ran across it. Thanks again for sharing your heart!
Beautifully written and such an important reminder, Angela! It’s so true in almost any area of life that comparison will steal our joy.
Thank you, Deb! I have to constantly remind myself of this. Wish I could meet you at the 2:1 conference!
Excellent post Angela! I have found myself comparing and it is so unproductive. I too had a colicky baby who still doesn’t sleep through the night. I try and focus on just how much I prayed for these babies. The many years I wondered if I would ever even get to be a mom and it puts things right back into perspective.
Thanks for sharing, Anna. With technology (like Pinterest), it’s easy for us to feel like we’re failing as a mom. You’re right- it’s so unproductive. Yes, you know how hard it is to have a colicky baby! And I’ve been there with babies not sleeping at night. It took Troy 18 months and Wes 16 months to finally sleep through the night consistently! I will be praying for you! I love your perspective on being a mom. So glad God blessed you with two amazing miracles!
Comparison is something I have struggled with all my life, especially as a mom. I used to imagine that behind closed doors, other moms had it all together, that everything was clean and organized and that their parenting was surely better than mine. It’s only been in the past few years that I have found my worth in God and have had an easier time not comparing myself to others.
Thanks, Sharla for sharing! So glad God has worked in your life the past few years with this! Oh and by the way, how do you like List Planit?! So fun that we both won!
Thank you for sharing. This really spoke to my heart.
I am so glad! I felt God leading me to share what’s been on my heart. It’s a blessing to hear your comment!
Yes, the whole comparison thing is such a trap, the only person who can stop it is yourself! As your kids get older it just continues with sports, etc. Ugh. You are so far ahead of the curve by realizing this now. This is a wonderful post, keep up the good work of being a great momma to those boys 🙂
Thank, Jen! You are so sweet. I pray daily for strength and grace to be their mom. I’m sure you know how that is. I can only imagine the comparison thing getting crazy with sports and other activities. I’ll definitely have to remind myself of this when they are in that stage of life. Thanks for your comment!!
This is perfect Angela.. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, especially a topic that many of us relate to and struggle with. And how perfect is Gods word, those are such comforting verses. I love you friend!
Thank you, friend! I agree…I think many of us struggle with this. I know I have! Yes, whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed I find great comfort in His word. Love you, Kristen!
hi there..like your post esp love your boys..they are GOD given. my hubby and I are praying for babies for a very long time now..that a baby will look down from Heaven and say..i choose that one for a mama and papa!. well, still hoping & praying..you are blessed! thanks for the share.
Thank you for your comment and sharing your heart! I’m sure that must be very hard to stay content while waiting. God bless you! I will be praying for you and your husband.
I have a 7 year old and an almost 3 year old. The oldest a boy and the youngest a girl. I do not compare with my daughter the way I did when my son was her age. I know it’s a combination of reasons as to why I don’t compare my daughter to others but mostly it’s because I have come in contact with many more Moms/ parents over the last 7 + years of Mommy-hood and after talking with many and being friends with many I’ve learned that all of us parents have our woes, so to speak, when it cones to our children. Not one of us as parents is perfect nor are the children. Another thing that has really come to light with me is the fact that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. What someone shows to others on the outside might not always be the reality. My son was a handful during his 2′ 3’s and 4’s and now I can proudly say he has turned out to be a pretty well mannered, caring, fun loving 7 year old. One last thing – I think when our children are younger (before kindergarten age) we tend to do more of that comparing like with how well a child knows their abc’s or 123’s because that is the time where it all starts to come together. I have read that at about the 3rd or 4th grade any child that may have been ahead (academically speaking) will all be at the same or very similar level by grades 3 or 4. This goes without saying but love your children for who they are and thank God for blessing you with them because God knows that we are the best parents for our children no matter the challenge. Thank you for your post today!! Have me something to ponder that I haven’t really done in quite some time!
Very good advice, Susen. You are so right- no one is perfect and no one knows what goes on behind close doors. That is great about your son! I’m sure you are proud of him. Yes, loving your child is the best thing you can ever do for them. Thank you for your encouragement!